News
Fertility Update. Baby #2. And Mom Life.
Oh hey, friends. It's been a hot minute since I last blogged..... almost 2 years ago. But hey, life happens and life CERTAINLY has happened since then.
We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and she has filled our hearts with a love that we didn't know existed. It is now that I can understand the depth of our journey, the heartbreak, the pain and the struggle, every minute of it all, was worth it. We have this business to thank for our little family. This business is a part of our family. And our journey is a big part of this business, and we have always shared that with you. So I figured it was probably time for another update!
SINCE having our sweet Sawyer, we moved back to our home town to be closer to family and open up our first brick + mortar. Some of my earliest memories are playing "store" as a child and this was truly a dream come true. It features not only our items but a collection of other vendors and makers too. To be able to share + spread the love to other small businesses is one of our favorite parts of owning the store. It is also SO nice to connect with people in person. There are a lot of you that I've never actually met, but thanks to the internet I feel like we besties, but we are grateful for some face to face interaction. I was fortunate enough to have my husband hop on full time with T+G when Sawyer was born so that I could take some time off to spend with her. Being able to grow this business as a family is such a fulfilling and rewarding experience. We spend SO much of our lives working and I couldn't think of a better way to make a living then side by side with my best friend! We started adding more curated items to the website like clothing, and home decor offerings! And you guys are LOVING it so yeah, we got more things coming!
Although we were blessed with so many good things these past couple years. There were some obstacles along the way. As such is life. Life hit us with a curve ball this past summer when I miraculously and VERY unexpectedly fell pregnant. Shock. Nervousness. Panic. Greif. Excitement. And love. So much love were the feelings that overcame us. Although this pregnancy was completely unexpected, it was one that we welcomed with open arms and very quickly fell in love with. Falling pregnant "naturally" and having it come as a surprise gave me a sense of dignity back that infertility had stolen. I spent the first 9 weeks up until our first ultrasound being awfully sick. A symptom that as strangely as it sounds, I was always comforted by because it meant that your pregnancy was progressing. This time was different though. I wasn't nervous or paranoid. And I was really looking forward to enjoy a non-neurotic pregnancy. I got an ultrasound at 5 or 6 weeks with Sawyer so waiting 9 weeks felt like ETERNITY. I arrived at our first ultrasound, like the seasoned pro that I was (we had several for an IVF pregnancy) but when one of the first things out of the techs mouth was, "have you had any cramping or bleeding" I knew instantly something was wrong. My heart sank. He carried on and eventually told me I could go grab my husband and he would be back. That's not how this works I thought, the tech always goes and grabs your significant other from the room while you lie on the table waiting for the ultrasound to resume. We were heartbroken to learn that my pregnancy was ectopic, and that I would have to go in for emergency surgery immediately. Just as quickly as we had welcomed this little blessing into our lives, we also had to say goodbye. They removed one of my tubes and the surgeon said that my other tube that was left wasn't in the best shape and that was potentially the reason why we were having troubles conceiving in the first place. She assured us studies show that having one tube doesn't affect fertility rates and there was a good chance we would be able to conceive naturally again. As heartbroken as I was, I had to be strong for Sawyer and for my husband. Together, we worked to heal our broken hearts. The past years have taught us to give ourselves grace, lots of grace and trust in the journey. We know from previous experience that painful moments do not always make sense at that time, but there is a bigger picture to see.
While we we are not "trying" for baby #2, we have always dreamt of having two or more children. I am uncertain what the future holds for us fertility wise. I am hopeful that we will be able to conceive naturally again, but cautious because of our previous history, and from my most recent surgery. Mentally, physically and financially I am preparing myself for having to do another IVF transfer in the future. If you follow along my personal instagram @tatumalexis_ you might have seen that I have started my second business + I'm so excited to share more with you guys!
Stay tuned, I promise to keep you updated more than once every two years.
XO Tatum
Master Bedroom Update {CHEAP + EASY}
Hi Friends! If you've followed along my insta stories then you know I shared our SUPER simple + cheap master bedroom update. We moved into our home last December and although it was a "new" build... it was very builder basic. I'm MAKING the time this year to add some character into this house and make it our home. I had lots of questions on our stories so I figured I'd share everything here in one easy to read post!
Now I'm gonna be REAL with you. I've wasted a lot of money buying crap for my home that I thought I needed because it was trendy on the gram *cough cough* rae dunn ware etc. This year I've made a conscious effort to add VALUE to our home. I knew I wanted a change in our bedroom, and I also knew that I didn't want to spend a lot of money. Like really, the least amount of money possible. So I started out with paint. Painting isn't my most favourite job, but it can completely transform a room for a fairly low cost. The paint colour I chose was BEHR Black Ink. I didn't want to commit to a fully black wall, and because my other walls are light gray, I wanted the dark colour to have a tinge of navy blue. I did two coats in eggshell finish. It's scary because you can really see your roller marks when it's wet but thankfully it dried perfectly.
Cost $64.00 for a gallon? (normal sized can) of paint + paint brush. I already had a roller at home.
Let's talk decor. I wanted a more simplistic approach to decorating since the dark wall was such a statement. And again, I didn't want to have to go out and purchase new things to style the room. I used a hack from pinterest via CHRISLOVESJULIA on how to create large prints for cheap. I had our family photo printed on a 24" x 36" poster at staples. It cost about $25 bucks. The frame I purchased previously from michaels using their 50% off on item coupon, the only way to shop at that store in my opinion. The wool garland is from our Christmas collection but I feel that it's neutral enough to use all year round and adds some texture to the shelf. The signs are from our new mini spring release collection, but because you asked so nicely we've added to the website and you can purchase HERE. They are framed in our natural, unstained pine frame and I love the minimalist vibe they give off.
Cost: $25 for the print. If you don't have an existing frame to use get yoself a michaels 50% off coupon. I want to say the frame ended up being around $40.
The floating shelf is a #palletcraft DIY blast from the past. Like for real, when's the last time you seen a pallet hack show up lately. They are super easy to build and best part is they are FREE! Well, you might have to purchase a couple 2x4's if you don't have any "lying" around but basically free. HERE is a great tutorial from Shanty2Chic on building floating shelves.
Cost: FREE if you have ample scrap wood lying around. Even if you don't, maybe around $10.
The headboard is from wayfair. You can click HERE to view it. I spent quite a bit of time reading reviews. Wayfair is great, but you definitely get what you pay for. I didn't want to spend over $1000 on a bed frame + headboard and this one has survived a move. Our bedding is an oldie but goodie from IKEA. If you've never purchased bedding from there it's an absolute MUST. The price cannot be beat and they wash so well! This set has to be close to 3 years old.
Because I was able to "shop my own home" I was able to finish this project under a $100. If you're feeling the urge to splurge on new stuff I strongly recommend moving items around from room to room into new spots. I once felt that once an item was in a certain space it had to stay there. Not the case! Do you have a room you want to transform on a budget?
The Day We Would Meet Our Miracle {Our Infertility Story Part 2}
{Our Frozen Transfer...}
It was a perfect day. The sun couldn't have shone any brighter, it was like all of our guardian angels in the sky were saying good luck. I was incredibly nervous, a little excited and cautiously optimistic. You see, we had gone through so many failures to get this point it really was hard to believe that another treatment would work. I never was certain that it would work and I really didn't want to set myself up for disappointment, but on the other hand we had done absolutely everything we could and really, there was no reason why it shouldn't.
My heart was racing as they rolled me into the operating room (which sounds a lot more intimidating than it is.) This little old lady came barreling through the back door and through her hands in the air and said, "OH MY GOODNESS, I HAVE NEVER SEE A MORE PERFECT EMBRYO." The nurse smiled and said it's a good sign when she gets this excited about a transfer. Now granted, I don't think they would tell you your embryo looks like crap and this is probably going to fail, but I'll admit I felt a little boost of confidence + relief from this outburst. It was the most incredible thing when they turned on the TV and our teeny tiny little 5 day old embryo appeared. Man, science is so cool. You can't even imagine how small this little spec of matter was. The catheter that they use to insert the embryo is about a 1/4 of the size of a pen ink cartridge. Like, how do you even know there's anything on it?! The procedure took about 5 minutes if that, and was the least painful part of the entire experience. I just laid there and cried for a while, at this point in our treatment my hormone levels were through the roof and I was as hot of a mess as they come.
Now what? Can I pee? If I sneeze will my embryo fall out? Is walking up stairs ok. SERIOUSLY, infertility makes you cray cray and these are all real thoughts that crossed my mind. Also, how the F am I going to get through these next two weeks of waiting. Well spoiler alert, as much as they stressed that you shouldn't test before the two week period I DID. I broke down at 6 days past the transfer, which is equal to about 11 DPO. I knew it was early, I knew I might not get those lines, and I knew I would be devastated if I didn't but my impatience got the best of me.
I can honestly say it was the best moment of my life. Those dark pink lines appeared instantly. No squinting, no holding up the light, no staring at it intensely for 10 minutes. Two bright pink lines, just in time for Valentines day. We were finally pregnant.
Now if you think the two week wait until you get to take a pregnancy test is bad, the two week wait until your first doctors appointment is excruciating. We had gotten a positive pregnancy test before but sadly it ended in a chemical pregnancy. I was an absolute nervous wreck the entire time. Over analyzing ever twinge, every cramp, any sort of movement in my stomach. When they day finally came that we got to see our little peanut and it's tiny flickering heart beat. That was actually the best day of our lives.
To each and every single one of you who said a prayer for us, left a note of kindness or shared your stories of success and support with us. We cannot thank-you enough. I know that we have a long way to go to meeting our little miracle but each day this little life thrives inside me is a day worth celebrating. As I sit here, in tears of happiness I know some of you are reading this waiting for your turn. I know it's so hard, and you feel like it will never happen for you. I can't say when it will, but over the past year I have witnessed so many blessings come to those who fought for it. Your blessing is coming in one way or another. Sending nothing but positive vibes to everyone struggling.
Love + Light
- Tatum
An Open Letter About Infertility {Our Infertility Story Part 1}
To my husband I've become emotionally closed off to..
To my friend I've become distant with..
To my family members I lied to when you asked me how I was doing..
It's not you, it's me.
Infertility has completely consumed me and my life. It's all I think about. I struggle day to day, to keep it together. Emotionally and physically. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted waiting for the next appointment, waiting for the next set of blood work results, waiting for our next cycle. I'm exhausted having to put a smile on my face when I'm not happy.
I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm frustrated.
Why me? Is this my karma? Did I do this to myself? Have I treated my body in such a way that it's failing me?
I want to be positive, I want to be hopeful but it's hard. I am at my breaking point and it's easier to close myself off to than fake my way through the day.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Being the eldest of three younger siblings and two cousins I was always the designated babysitter and I was totally ok with that. I never had a set plan, or an age that this would happen.. I just knew that I wanted to be a mama. I don't know if there's some switch in our bodies that just clicks one day, or if it was being around all my sweet friends babies, or a combination of both. But when I decided that it was my turn, I like, REALLY wanted it to be my turn. Now granted our bodies are biologically programmed to reproduce, I realize this is probably a pretty normal way to feel.
I had a gut feeling this would not be easy. Maybe, everyone initially thinks that. But I just had a feeling. And when it didn't happen right away for us, I just knew it was going to be an uphill battle.
I don't know how to say this without coming off like an asshole, but when I want something.. I will get it. I will do whatever it takes, work how ever many hours, learn how to do the task, save how ever much it costs. Whatever it takes.
So when there was nothing I could about our infertility, I didn't really know how to cope with it. [CUE diving head first into my entrepreneurial journey]
After seeing a few useless doctors we were finally referred to the fertility clinic where we did about 642 tests to end up with then unsatisfying diagnosis of "unexplained" infertility. Maybe you're being quick to judge and just think we didn't try. Oh we tried. And if it was on google, in a book, on a podcast, in cosmopolitan, or your friend's cousin said it would help get you pregnant, we tried that too.
We also tried 3 rounds of clomid, which gets like everybody pregnant right? You know, "insert name" had twins from clomid. That also failed us.
So we were put on the waitlist for IVF. Waiting, waiting. Always waiting. I wanted the time to pass by as fast as it could that I let a whole year slip by without even knowing. Completely unaware.
It was my 26th birthday and I couldn't be more thrilled to be starting my injections. Seems kind of odd right, someone wanting to inject themselves with needles.. and enjoy it! They weren't so bad. Fairly painless actually. I know a lot of women experience some pretty nasty side affects from the drugs but over all I was pretty lucky. Bloated to the point of extreme discomfort but that's basically it.
My body ended up reacting SO well to the drugs that they were able to retrieve 23 eggies from me, and 21 of them fertilized.
They froze our sweet little eggies right away and we are now awaiting a frozen transfer... your good vibes are appreciated. Thank-you for the love + support.
{To be continued...}
*Side note... if you are on a fertility journey of your own and have questions, feel free to reach out. I know how intimidating it can be, and I know I spent a lot of time googling for answers.
- T
Confessions Of A Entrepreneur
Being an entrepreneur is hard work. In fact, it's the hardest I've ever worked in my entire life. "Start your own business!" they said, "it's the best" they said, working for yourself, making your own schedule..
Well, here's what it's REALLY like being an entrepreneur....
Yes yes yes! This new item is so awesome, I'm obsessed, everyones going to love it, for sure going to be the next best seller.
*3 months go by, no one orders item, ends up gifting to Grandma*
~
Yes yes yes! Prepped so many items for the re-stock, shop is full, promised clients lots of inventory.
*Sells out in 15 minutes*
~
Me to me: how late is too late to stop drinking coffee? how early is too early to start drinking wine?
~
Me to me: Are heart palpitations normal after drinking 6 cups of coffee?
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Me to friend: can you tell I've been using dry shampoo for 8 days?
~
Ok, that's it, I'm full absolutely no more orders.
*Oh you need a last minute gift by tomorrow, sure no problem*
~
Me: Being an entrepreneur is amazing, I love what I do, this is freaking awesome.
Also me: This is shit, I am shit.
~If I turn down one person my business is going to fail.
While all the above is true, being an entrepreneur is still ah-freaking-mazing, and I know that I will never be able to go back to a job that isn't focused on furthering my own goals. BUT IT'S FREAKING HARD! There's a constant battle between not having enough hours in the day, not having enough product, not having enough hands, not having enough patience. Sometimes I question why I do what I do, but then I read the sweet comments and see the smiling faces when you guys pick up your orders and I am instantly reminded how truly blessed I am.
Thank-you for your continued support on this crazy, wild, tough, entrepreneurial journey.
SUPER EASY DIY Shiplap Wall Tutorial
Good Morning Friends!
Good Morning Friends!I am super excited to share the EASIEST shiplap tutorial, like, ever!
Re-doing my entry way has been on my to-do list for far too long. Client orders take precedence over projects for my own home and it just seems like there are never enough hours in the day.
Thankfully, this project can be completed in one Sunday afternoon! So grab a cup of coffee and follow along.
Supplies |
1/4" Plywood (I used sanded aspen it was on sale for 50% off, it was nice and smooth) |
Can of Behr Paint in Pure White Satin Finish |
1" Brad Nails |
Ryobi Cordless Brad Nailer |
3x 8 FT 1 x 6" Pine Boards (optional) |
Stud Finder |
Level |
Dime |
I had home depot rip down my plywood into 8 FT long x 8" tall strips. You can totally choose your desired width. I squared up the first plank, used the stud finder to find the studs and nailed in the plank. Check your plank is level. Then I used a dime as a spacer. Repeat until finished. Then I began to apply the paint. I knew I was going to trim out the sides so I left them unpainted #lazyDIY for the win! My planks took 3 coats to fully cover.
Then, you need to decide what kind of shiplapper you are. (New buzz word, it's super fetch, watch for it) Type A - Super clean, modern finish or Type B - Rustic, distressed finish. I chose B. I wanted a more authentic feel so I did not fill my nail holes and I also distressed the planks.
I'm crazy obsessed with how it turned out. It makes the space feel so much bigger and I love how bright and welcoming it is. For the shelving, I just purchased the brackets from home depot and stained a 1 x 8 pine board in classic grey. I feel like I want to shiplap ALL THE THINGS now!
If you try a shiplap project in your home I'd love to see it! Feel free to tag me on Instagram @timberandgray
The Timber + Gray Story
Hey internet world I'm Tatum / the gal behind @timberandgray
...
A bit about the biz: T+G basically stemmed from drinking too much wine and/or champagne while crafting. The crafts were basically an excuse to make me and my friends feel less guilty about drinking champagne at noon.
...
2 and a bit years ago we moved into our new home and I attempted a few #DIY projects that eventually people asked if I could make one for them as well. While I'm not surprised that I ended up working creatively with my hands, the true reason I started my business page was because it kept my mind busy while trying for a baby.
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Slowly but surely, I began attempting larger projects, upgrading tools, reading books, stalked wood working forums and learned some tricks of the trade from my amazing Grandpa
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Fast forward to this present day. I just turned 26 and have held more jobs than some will hold in their lifetime. I truly admire my own ability to leave somewhere that I am unhappy. I'm not surprised that I have ended up with my own small business. I have two generations of crazy successful business men to look up to & I think entrepreneurship is imbedded in our gene pool. I'm also incredibly independent + strong willed, so working for myself just makes sense.
...
So there you have it. The story of how Timber+ Gray came to be. And if you caught the part about trying for a baby, as you can see, we are not there yet but thanks to my AMAZING clients we have been able to pay for fertility treatments and are so looking for to what the future has in store for us. If you didn't fully understand the importance of shopping small/local/handmade I hope that you can see just how much it means to us ❤️
Rustic Home Reno Inspiration
We moved into our current house almost 2 years ago now & have been renovating since day one! Literally. We started painting on our possession date. It has a really neat layout, and unlike most of the houses on our street it was unique. The style was a bit outdated so we had to put some elbow grease in to make it our own! Today I am sharing some rustic renovation inspiration with you.
BEHR ELEPHANT SKIN GREY CABINETS | WHITE SUBWAY TILE BACK SPLASH | IKEA BUTCHER BLOCK COUNTER TOPS | FRIDGIDAIRE STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES | IKEA FARMHOUSE SINK | FARMHOUSE FAUCET FROM COSTCO
BEHR SEMI GLOSS WHITE PAINTED CABINETS | SPRAY PAINTED COPPER HANDLES | BARNWOOD SIDING | CRATES FROM HOME DEPOT | DECOR PIECES FROM HOME SENSE | CHALK PAINTED MIRROR
CARPET FROM HOME DEPOT | COUCH FROM ASHLEY FURNITURE | COFFEE TABLE FROM TIMBER & GRAY | PAINTED FIRE PLACE WITH BEHR ELEPHANT SKIN | PILLOW FROM URBAN BARN | SIGN FROM TIMBER & GRAY
VANITY HOME DEPOT | MIRROR HOME SENSE | GREY BARNWOOD VINYL | WHITE SUBWAY TILE
Tips For Updating Your Decor
Things change, people change & trends change! One of the blessings (& curses) about being able to make my own furniture is that I change my decor style ALOT. Here is a list of tips that I use when changing up my decor.
1. De-clutter. This is single handedly the most useful tip I can give you. Get rid of clutter and get rid of the pieces that no longer suit your style! You'll feel amazing with a "blank slate."
2. Find an inspiration piece. Whether it's a vintage clock you bought, a piece of art you own, or even a label you like the colours on ~ find one item that will help you plan your room out. For example: I found this copper ornament at home sense that inspired my recent bathroom renovation. It helped me find other pieces & pull everything together.
3. Plan it out. Spend some time on pinterest looking at different layouts. Make some drawings. Use tape on the walls where you would be hanging stuff. If it flows the way you want it to great, if it doesn't at least you haven't made holes in the wall where you don't need them (speaking from experience).
4. A can of paint works wonders. It really can change the entire feel of a room, without spending a ton of dough. It is the easiest way to update without having to purchase all new furniture or decor. My favourite GRAY tones that I used in my house are: Behr Cathedral Grey, Behr Polar Bear & Sherwin Williams Sea Salt.
5. Do what you can, within your budget. I know personally, when I want something done I want it done yesterday. Recently I have taken the time to chip away at updates & purchase unique pieces here and there whenever I find a good deal. Don't pressure yourself into updating your whole house in one day. Take your time and hunt for those deals! Some of my favourite places to shop for decor are: Wayfair, Home Sense, Winners, Timber & Gray, Value Village & Good Will.
I hope you find these tips useful! We offer a number of different design services that can help bring your pinterest dreams to life. Contact us to discuss!
The Importance of Shopping Small
1. Timber & Gray customer pays for deposit on their order.
2. Tatum goes to building supply store that employees a local student part time. Tatum buys local Canfor lumber to use for customer order. Hey, your friends husband works for Canfor! Sweet.
3. On the way home Tatum stops by the farmer's market to grab vegetables for dinner.
4. Tatum finishes up customer order and prepares it for pickup. Customer pays for completed order.
5. Tatum pays her mortgage.
{repeat 1 - 5}
When you shop small & buy local, more of your money stays in the community and strengthens our local economy. It's hard to think about the "bigger" picture when you shop small, but it causes a chain of reactions that are so beneficial to our economy.
Thank-you for supporting local.
Sincerely,
Tatum {Timber + Gray}
Why I Quit My Salaried Corporate Marketing Job In A Recession
You only live once.
A quote I see pinned, posted, shared & recited every day. But how many of us truly embrace this motto? How many of us really live each day like it could be our last?
I recently left my corporate, well paying career in marketing to jump head first into my entrepreneurial journey. In a recession.
The idea of running a small business, full time, was always the end goal and something I thought frequently about. But, amidst the doom & gloom of the oil crash it just didn't seem like "the best time."
In the past year I have seen people lose loved ones too soon, people leave relationships they thought they were stuck in, people overcome crippling hardships & thought to myself: if not now, when?
I don't know if I made the right decision, but I can tell you this. I no longer have to convince myself each day that I love my job. I truly love what I do, and no matter the outcome I will be satisfied knowing that I took a chance instead of wondering "what if" forever.
