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  • The Day We Would Meet Our Miracle {Our Infertility Story Part 2}

    {Our Frozen Transfer...}

    It was a perfect day. The sun couldn't have shone any brighter, it was like all of our guardian angels in the sky were saying good luck. I was incredibly nervous, a little excited and cautiously optimistic. You see, we had gone through so many failures to get this point it really was hard to believe that another treatment would work. I never was certain that it would work and I really didn't want to set myself up for disappointment, but on the other hand we had done absolutely everything we could and really, there was no reason why it shouldn't.

    My heart was racing as they rolled me into the operating room (which sounds a lot more intimidating than it is.) This little old lady came barreling through the back door and through her hands in the air and said, "OH MY GOODNESS, I HAVE NEVER SEE A MORE PERFECT EMBRYO." The nurse smiled and said it's a good sign when she gets this excited about a transfer. Now granted, I don't think they would tell you your embryo looks like crap and this is probably going to fail, but I'll admit I felt a little boost of confidence + relief from this outburst. It was the most incredible thing when they turned on the TV and our teeny tiny little 5 day old embryo appeared. Man, science is so cool. You can't even imagine how small this little spec of matter was. The catheter that they use to insert the embryo is about a 1/4 of the size of a pen ink cartridge. Like, how do you even know there's anything on it?! The procedure took about 5 minutes if that, and was the least painful part of the entire experience. I just laid there and cried for a while, at this point in our treatment my hormone levels were through the roof and I was as hot of a mess as they come.

    Now what? Can I pee? If I sneeze will my embryo fall out? Is walking up stairs ok. SERIOUSLY, infertility makes you cray cray and these are all real thoughts that crossed my mind. Also, how the F am I going to get through these next two weeks of waiting. Well spoiler alert, as much as they stressed that you shouldn't test before the two week period I DID. I broke down at 6 days past the transfer, which is equal to about 11 DPO. I knew it was early, I knew I might not get those lines, and I knew I would be devastated if I didn't but my impatience got the best of me.

    I can honestly say it was the best moment of my life. Those dark pink lines appeared instantly. No squinting, no holding up the light, no staring at it intensely for 10 minutes. Two bright pink lines, just in time for Valentines day. We were finally pregnant.

    Now if you think the two week wait until you get to take a pregnancy test is bad, the two week wait until your first doctors appointment is excruciating. We had gotten a positive pregnancy test before but sadly it ended in a chemical pregnancy. I was an absolute nervous wreck the entire time. Over analyzing ever twinge, every cramp, any sort of movement in my stomach. When they day finally came that we got to see our little peanut and it's tiny flickering heart beat. That was actually the best day of our lives.

    To each and every single one of you who said a prayer for us, left a note of kindness or shared your stories of success and support with us. We cannot thank-you enough. I know that we have a long way to go to meeting our little miracle but each day this little life thrives inside me is a day worth celebrating. As I sit here, in tears of happiness I know some of you are reading this waiting for your turn. I know it's so hard, and you feel like it will never happen for you. I can't say when it will, but over the past year I have witnessed so many blessings come to those who fought for it. Your blessing is coming in one way or another. Sending nothing but positive vibes to everyone struggling.

    Love + Light

    - Tatum

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  • An Open Letter About Infertility {Our Infertility Story Part 1}

    To my husband I've become emotionally closed off to..

    To my friend I've become distant with..

    To my family members I lied to when you asked me how I was doing..

    It's not you, it's me.

    Infertility has completely consumed me and my life. It's all I think about. I struggle day to day, to keep it together. Emotionally and physically. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted waiting for the next appointment, waiting for the next set of blood work results, waiting for our next cycle. I'm exhausted having to put a smile on my face when I'm not happy.

    I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm frustrated.

    Why me? Is this my karma? Did I do this to myself? Have I treated my body in such a way that it's failing me?

    I want to be positive, I want to be hopeful but it's hard. I am at my breaking point and it's easier to close myself off to than fake my way through the day.

    I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Being the eldest of three younger siblings and two cousins I was always the designated babysitter and I was totally ok with that. I never had a set plan, or an age that this would happen.. I just knew that I wanted to be a mama. I don't know if there's some switch in our bodies that just clicks one day, or if it was being around all my sweet friends babies, or a combination of both. But when I decided that it was my turn, I like, REALLY wanted it to be my turn. Now granted our bodies are biologically programmed to reproduce, I realize this is probably a pretty normal way to feel.

    I had a gut feeling this would not be easy. Maybe, everyone initially thinks that. But I just had a feeling. And when it didn't happen right away for us, I just knew it was going to be an uphill battle.

    I don't know how to say this without coming off like an asshole, but when I want something.. I will get it. I will do whatever it takes, work how ever many hours, learn how to do the task, save how ever much it costs. Whatever it takes.

    So when there was nothing I could about our infertility, I didn't really know how to cope with it. [CUE diving head first into my entrepreneurial journey]

    After seeing a few useless doctors we were finally referred to the fertility clinic where we did about 642 tests to end up with then unsatisfying diagnosis of "unexplained" infertility. Maybe you're being quick to judge and just think we didn't try. Oh we tried. And if it was on google, in a book, on a podcast, in cosmopolitan, or your friend's cousin said it would help get you pregnant, we tried that too.

    We also tried 3 rounds of clomid, which gets like everybody pregnant right? You know, "insert name" had twins from clomid. That also failed us.

    So we were put on the waitlist for IVF. Waiting, waiting. Always waiting. I wanted the time to pass by as fast as it could that I let a whole year slip by without even knowing. Completely unaware.

    It was my 26th birthday and I couldn't be more thrilled to be starting my injections. Seems kind of odd right, someone wanting to inject themselves with needles.. and enjoy it! They weren't so bad. Fairly painless actually. I know a lot of women experience some pretty nasty side affects from the drugs but over all I was pretty lucky. Bloated to the point of extreme discomfort but that's basically it.

    My body ended up reacting SO well to the drugs that they were able to retrieve 23 eggies from me, and 21 of them fertilized. 

    They froze our sweet little eggies right away and we are now awaiting a frozen transfer... your good vibes are appreciated. Thank-you for the love + support.

    {To be continued...}

    *Side note... if you are on a fertility journey of your own and have questions, feel free to reach out. I know how intimidating it can be, and I know I spent a lot of time googling for answers. 

    - T

     

     

     

     

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  • Confessions Of A Entrepreneur

    Being an entrepreneur is hard work. In fact, it's the hardest I've ever worked in my entire life. "Start your own business!" they said, "it's the best" they said, working for yourself, making your own schedule..

    Well, here's what it's REALLY like being an entrepreneur....

    Yes yes yes! This new item is so awesome, I'm obsessed, everyones going to love it, for sure going to be the next best seller.

    *3 months go by, no one orders item, ends up gifting to Grandma*

    ~

    Yes yes yes! Prepped so many items for the re-stock, shop is full,  promised clients lots of inventory.

    *Sells out in 15 minutes*

    ~

    Me to me: how late is too late to stop drinking coffee? how early is too early to start drinking wine?

    ~

    Me to me: Are heart palpitations normal after drinking 6 cups of coffee?

    ~

    Me to friend: can you tell I've been using dry shampoo for 8 days?

    ~

    Ok, that's it, I'm full absolutely no more orders.

    *Oh you need a last minute gift by tomorrow, sure no problem*

    ~

    Me: Being an entrepreneur is amazing, I love what I do, this is freaking awesome.

    Also me: This is shit, I am shit.

    ~If I turn down one person my business is going to fail.

     

    While all the above is true, being an entrepreneur is still ah-freaking-mazing, and I know that I will never be able to go back to a job that isn't focused on furthering my own goals. BUT IT'S FREAKING HARD! There's a constant battle between not having enough hours in the day, not having enough product, not having enough hands, not having enough patience. Sometimes I question why I do what I do, but then I read the sweet comments and see the smiling faces when you guys pick up your orders and I am instantly reminded how truly blessed I am.

    Thank-you for your continued support on this crazy, wild, tough, entrepreneurial journey.

     

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  • SUPER EASY DIY Shiplap Wall Tutorial

    Good Morning Friends!

    I am super excited to share the EASIEST shiplap tutorial, like, ever!

    Re-doing my entry way has been on my to-do list for far too long. Client orders take precedence over projects for my own home and it just seems like there are never enough hours in the day.

    Thankfully, this project can be completed in one Sunday afternoon! So grab a cup of coffee and follow along.

     Supplies

    1/4" Plywood (I used sanded aspen it was on sale for 50% off, it was nice and smooth)

    Can of Behr Paint in Pure White Satin Finish

    1" Brad Nails

    Ryobi Cordless Brad Nailer

    3x  8 FT 1 x 6" Pine Boards (optional)

    Stud Finder

    Level

    Dime

     

    I had home depot rip down my plywood into 8 FT long x 8" tall strips. You can totally choose your desired width. I squared up the first plank, used the stud finder to find the studs and nailed in the plank. Check your plank is level. Then I used a dime as a spacer. Repeat until finished. Then I began to apply the paint. I knew I was going to trim out the sides so I left them unpainted #lazyDIY for the win! My planks took 3 coats to fully cover.

     

    Then, you  need to decide what kind of shiplapper you are. (New buzz word, it's super fetch, watch for it) Type A - Super clean, modern finish or Type B - Rustic, distressed finish. I chose B. I wanted a more authentic feel so I did not fill my nail holes and I also distressed the planks.

    I'm crazy obsessed with how it turned out. It makes the space feel so much bigger and I love how bright and welcoming it is. For the shelving, I just purchased the brackets from home depot and stained a 1 x 8 pine board in classic grey. I feel like I want to shiplap ALL THE THINGS now!

    If you try a shiplap project in your home I'd love to see it! Feel free to tag me on Instagram @timberandgray

     

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  • The Timber + Gray Story

    Hey internet world I'm Tatum / the gal behind @timberandgray
    ...
    A bit about the biz: T+G basically stemmed from drinking too much wine and/or champagne while crafting. The crafts were basically an excuse to make me and my friends feel less guilty about drinking champagne at noon.
    ...
    2 and a bit years ago we moved into our new home and I attempted a few #DIY projects that eventually people asked if I could make one for them as well. While I'm not surprised that I ended up working creatively with my hands, the true reason I started my business page was because it kept my mind busy while trying for a baby.
    ...
    Slowly but surely, I began attempting larger projects, upgrading tools, reading books, stalked wood working forums and learned some tricks of the trade from my amazing Grandpa
    ...
    Fast forward to this present day. I just turned 26 and have held more jobs than some will hold in their lifetime. I truly admire my own ability to leave somewhere that I am unhappy. I'm  not surprised that I have ended up with my own small business. I have two generations of crazy successful business men to look up to & I think entrepreneurship is imbedded in our gene pool. I'm also incredibly independent + strong willed, so working for myself just makes sense.
    ...
    So there you have it. The story of how Timber+ Gray came to be. And if you caught the part about trying for a baby, as you can see, we are not there yet but thanks to my AMAZING clients we have been able to pay for fertility treatments and are so looking for to what the future has in store for us. If you didn't fully understand the importance of shopping small/local/handmade I hope that you can see just how much it means to us ❤️

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  • Rustic Home Reno Inspiration

    We moved into our current house almost 2 years ago now & have been renovating since day one! Literally. We started painting on our possession date. It has a really neat layout, and unlike most of the houses on our street it was unique. The style was a bit outdated so we had to put some elbow grease in to make it our own! Today I am sharing some rustic renovation inspiration with you. 

    BEHR ELEPHANT SKIN GREY CABINETS | WHITE SUBWAY TILE BACK SPLASH | IKEA BUTCHER BLOCK COUNTER TOPS | FRIDGIDAIRE STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES | IKEA FARMHOUSE SINK | FARMHOUSE FAUCET FROM COSTCO

    BEHR SEMI GLOSS WHITE PAINTED CABINETS | SPRAY PAINTED COPPER HANDLES | BARNWOOD SIDING | CRATES FROM HOME DEPOT | DECOR PIECES FROM HOME SENSE | CHALK PAINTED MIRROR

    CARPET FROM HOME DEPOT | COUCH FROM ASHLEY FURNITURE | COFFEE TABLE FROM TIMBER & GRAY | PAINTED FIRE PLACE WITH BEHR ELEPHANT SKIN | PILLOW FROM URBAN BARN | SIGN FROM TIMBER & GRAY 

    VANITY HOME DEPOT | MIRROR HOME SENSE | GREY BARNWOOD VINYL | WHITE SUBWAY TILE 

     

     

     

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