March 06, 2019

Fertility Update. Baby #2. And Mom Life.

Oh hey, friends. It's been a hot minute since I last blogged..... almost 2 years ago. But hey, life happens and life CERTAINLY has happened since then.
We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and she has filled our hearts with a love that we didn't know existed. It is now that I can understand the depth of our journey, the heartbreak, the pain and the struggle, every minute of it all, was worth it. We have this business to thank for our little family. This business is a part of our family. And our journey is a big part of this business, and we have always shared that with you. So I figured it was probably time for another update!
SINCE having our sweet Sawyer, we moved back to our home town to be closer to family and open up our first brick + mortar. Some of my earliest memories are playing "store" as a child and this was truly a dream come true. It features not only our items but a collection of other vendors and makers too. To be able to share + spread the love to other small businesses is one of our favorite parts of owning the store. It is also SO nice to connect with people in person. There are a lot of you that I've never actually met, but thanks to the internet I feel like we besties, but we are grateful for some face to face interaction. I was fortunate enough to have my husband hop on full time with T+G when Sawyer was born so that I could take some time off to spend with her. Being able to grow this business as a family is such a fulfilling and rewarding experience. We spend SO much of our lives working and I couldn't think of a better way to make a living then side by side with my best friend! We started adding more curated items to the website like clothing, and home decor offerings! And you guys are LOVING it so yeah, we got more things coming!
Although we were blessed with so many good things these past couple years. There were some obstacles along the way. As such is life. Life hit us with a curve ball this past summer when I miraculously and VERY unexpectedly fell pregnant. Shock. Nervousness. Panic. Greif. Excitement. And love. So much love were the feelings that overcame us. Although this pregnancy was completely unexpected, it was one that we welcomed with open arms and very quickly fell in love with. Falling pregnant "naturally" and having it come as a surprise gave me a sense of dignity back that infertility had stolen. I spent the first 9 weeks up until our first ultrasound being awfully sick. A symptom that as strangely as it sounds, I was always comforted by because it meant that your pregnancy was progressing. This time was different though. I wasn't nervous or paranoid. And I was really looking forward to enjoy a non-neurotic pregnancy. I got an ultrasound at 5 or 6 weeks with Sawyer so waiting 9 weeks felt like ETERNITY. I arrived at our first ultrasound, like the seasoned pro that I was (we had several for an IVF pregnancy) but when one of the first things out of the techs mouth was, "have you had any cramping or bleeding" I knew instantly something was wrong. My heart sank. He carried on and eventually told me I could go grab my husband and he would be back. That's not how this works I thought, the tech always goes and grabs your significant other from the room while you lie on the table waiting for the ultrasound to resume. We were heartbroken to learn that my pregnancy was ectopic, and that I would have to go in for emergency surgery immediately. Just as quickly as we had welcomed this little blessing into our lives, we also had to say goodbye. They removed one of my tubes and the surgeon said that my other tube that was left wasn't in the best shape and that was potentially the reason why we were having troubles conceiving in the first place. She assured us studies show that having one tube doesn't affect fertility rates and there was a good chance we would be able to conceive naturally again. As heartbroken as I was, I had to be strong for Sawyer and for my husband. Together, we worked to heal our broken hearts. The past years have taught us to give ourselves grace, lots of grace and trust in the journey. We know from previous experience that painful moments do not always make sense at that time, but there is a bigger picture to see.
While we we are not "trying" for baby #2, we have always dreamt of having two or more children. I am uncertain what the future holds for us fertility wise. I am hopeful that we will be able to conceive naturally again, but cautious because of our previous history, and from my most recent surgery. Mentally, physically and financially I am preparing myself for having to do another IVF transfer in the future. If you follow along my personal instagram @tatumalexis_ you might have seen that I have started my second business + I'm so excited to share more with you guys! 
Stay tuned, I promise to keep you updated more than once every two years.
XO Tatum